Let's Talk About ... Trans Men's Health

I love you so much for this thread. Yes. Let's talk about it. I'm actually in the midst of studying international mens day and have been thinking a lot about male-trans inclusion. I've also been looking at the, what I think is a new term first nation, but could be ancient, it's hard to say, "brother boy" and "sister girl". It's an interestingly different take to me.

It feels at least a little bit like third way to understand things. I mean, for some people it seems to more about "identity" and some people it seems to more about "presentation" but maybe for everyone it's about "relationship". Brotherhood, sisterhood and all the intersections. That sort of thing.

Looking at things that way, makes me wonder how we can better embrace our trans-brothers. Because when you come out as a man you're also coming out as a brother and that's a special thing. There's rights of passage to do. There's also rights of passage to definitely definitely avoid. "Manhood" and "brotherhood" is a bit in review these days. A strange time for all of any of us to come to the party.

Challenging for sure but important challenges and brotherhood needs to be part of the solution. If we're serious about moving into post-binary utopia, we need all our boys on deck. Free-hearted men vs patriarchy, huzzah!

Thank you for your thoughts @wellwellwellnez !

I'd love to hear more about what you have learnt in your studies, especially in relation to the topics listed. This is an area I am definitely not educated enough about, and I do not know many trans-men in my personal life. The stats provided in this post are so disheartening and I would love to find a way forward in empowering and supporting the mental health and wellbeing of this community.

Looking forward to this discussion

Hi @Former-Member @wellwellwellnez @cloudcore

Thank you for starting this topic. I saw it in the email update. It makes me sad to see how little interaction there has been on this thread. I think it sums up the (please know I don't mean this exclusively as we all struggle, but this is the topic) transmen experience for me. Fear and isolation.

@petrichor @Former-Member @cloudcore

I did find an interesting candidate for an educational youtuber. Was looking for some kind of "male Contrapoints type" and found this bright spark of a young fella. I like this clip particlarly. As a sort of "person of faith" I'm a big fan at honest attempts to make faith more LGBTQIA+ 'n' stuff inclusive. The attempt's a bit funny but good 'ole go at it.

I was looking fo trans-inspiration and I think I found a lot of inspiraton for myself. I'm starting to really see the advantage of taking on younger generation role-models in general. Young people are smart when it comes to stuff.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wYvAE42PoI&t=194s

Hey there @wellwellwellnez

I've been away from the forums for a couple of weeks so please excuse my absence from this post. I wanted to jump back in here and thank you for your insightful dialogue – your perspective on the rights of passage when it comes to "brotherhood" is an interesting one, particularly with respect to the first nations trans inclusion.

I'm wondering if you might find the following read of interest: https://www.e-ir.info/2019/08/20/indigenous-sexualities-resisting-conquest-and-translation/

Would love to hear your thoughts, if you're able, on the notion of being "lost in colonial translation".

@wellwellwellnez I'm constantly in awe of the tenacity, insight and bravery young people are demonstrating in this space. In the early days of discovering my queer identity as a teen I was vilified and felt terribly isolated. With hindsight, as an adult, I can see how detrimental this was to my development as a young person, irrespective of my sexuality. To see so much support emerging from social media i.e. TikTok, Youtube etc is heartwarming and reassuring that there are soft places to land for young, trans identifying peeps. Thank you again for sharing!

Morning @petrichor,

I'm glad you found your way to this post, the email updates can be handy like that

Thank you for sharing your experience with the community as a transman – I want to acknowledge your experience of fear and isolation and sit right here with you. If you feel safe and able to talk to that a little more please know there are community members, like myself, who whilst we are not transmen (and some who are), we see your struggle and honour your strength in living with the fear and isolation.

In the spirit of Movember, and more broadly in the spirit of the SANE community in general, is there one thing you would like to see more of here in this space that may help to ease a little of the fear and isolation you experience as a transman?

Rhye 🌈

I've been in two minds about whether to join in here. I came out on the forums as transmasculine a few years ago but I'm still not sure whereabouts I actually am with respect to gender.

I do think it's complicated my journey with mental health. I remember a distinct moment in the 1st or 2nd grade where I was thinking "boys are meant to be tough, I'm not a boy so I have to be tougher". Every time people talk about it being hard for men to ask for help, I have to avoid the topic because it triggers a whole load of negative thoughts about myself - "men find it hard, but I've sought help so I'm not a man, I'm weak" etc. Every single time to some degree.

My positive story though - I came out to my psychologist and he accepts me. It means so much to me that he thinks it's good for me to be who I want to be and figure things out. I was worried that he'd dismiss my gender identity stuff as a symptom but he didn't do that at all. Instead, he's helped me to explore a bit more so that maybe I'll eventually figure things out. Over time he's had to chip away at my thoughts about being emotional = being weak and I'm finally able to talk to him about things that hurt... 15 years after I first needed to start talking about it but better late than never I guess. Before then, anonymously was the only option but even that was filled with shame. So, I'm trying to see this as a good thing.

I'm going to cite this in my assignment @Former-Member. We could a serious tip-of-the-iceberg situation here.

Hey there @TheVorticon,

I hear your hesitation, and respect it, so please feel free to dip your toe in whenever (or if ever) the mood strikes. I hope you find the conversation and space both valuable and safe.

How amazing is it to find a therapist who supports all of you. It's super important to feel you can trust your therapist enough to bring your whole self to the room. It sounds like you've found a gem in your therapist, which is a real win!

You've raised a really important point here, which I want to thank you for, and I admire your strength and honesty in bringing it to the discussion – there are a lot of gender tropes around communication, particularly when it comes to mental health. I'm not sure what it's like in other countries, but I have certainly noticed in Australia that "blokes" are supposed to be "strong" and just get on with things whereas women are given more of that freedom to express their emotions, in most settings anyway. I had never considered how this dominant discourse might play out for a transmasculine person, and I think it's really valuable to have these discussions in this space so that all experiences are heard.

May I ask, what would you find helpful or beneficial in a discussion such as this? No pressure to answer, only if you have the time/space and feeling of safety within yourself to.