Daughter and BPD

Hi @CAD1 and welcome to SANE. I hope you find this is a space with lots of kind hearts and support from those who have been caring for loved ones too.

I am so sorry to hear what you have been through, and for the recent loss of contact with your daughter. I can't begin to imagine how much pain and heartbreak there must be in this moment

It sounds like it has been such a hard few months (and years), do you have support for you at the moment?

You have found a great place here to connect with others, and I know many of our members in the friends, family and carers forum have been where you are right now with the grief after losing contact with the person they are supporting and love. Please keep reaching out, there are lots of listening ears here to support you

Hi @CAD1 and welcome to the forum. I hear and feel your pain. My daughter has also estranged herself from me and suffers from schizophrenia. Has been well over a year now and some days the grief is unbearably difficult. The only positive for me is that I know where she is living so can send letters, little presents now and then and I txt her regularly just to keep the line of communication open in the hope that one day she replies. Do you know where your daughter is living so perhaps you could do the same? Please look after yourself as best you're able so as when the day comes that she reaches out to you, you'll be there for her and please reach out here whenever you need to.

hello and sending you tender hugs @CAD1 , @Krishna

that is good advice @Krishna and also have a couple of threads called Coping Toolbox ( what is in yours to help you cope )

8 Dimensions of Wellness

and Carers Hints and tips to Success are good to click onto

Hi @CAD1 ,

Thank you for reaching out. I can hear how challenging things are at the moment.

As someone with BPD, I chose to move away from my family. Not a 6-hour drive... I moved to another state altogether.

Why?

- It was not because I hated my family

- It was not because I couldn't stand them

- I couldn't bear to hurt my family any more in seeing me so unstable and unhappy

- I wanted 'space' to find myself. Find the real me, and to say 'I' had done it.

- If I 'fell' (SH), I wouldn't be able to blame my family

Now?

- A decade on, I'm starting to reconnect with my family

- I'm making more of an effort to speak to them and to visit them

- There are no hard feelings

- I am well enough to enjoy our relationships

All in all, as hard as it was for my parents, I really needed the 'break' from them. I did not contact them for years. When I was with them, they always tried to find solutions for me. I knew I needed to make this mental health journey on my own. And that's the way I took.

@CAD1 @Krishna . There's much hope that your loved one will return. Don't give up on hoping. While there's breath, there's hope.

Hugs,

BPDSurvivor

Hi. Thankyou for ur message.
Your story sounds similar to ours.
I appreciate you taking the time to let me know where you were coming from. I think I'm finally starting to learn some acceptance for my daughter's state.
I only hope that it's not a ten year trek for her to find her way back to me and rebuild a relationship that works for both of us.

@CAD1 Sending you lots of tender hugs my friend and I am sitting with you xxx

@CAD1 , I hope it won't take a decade either.

I really want you to know that this is a journey she may need to do on her own. I know it may be so hard for you. Just let her know you are around for her.

Main thing, look after yourself so that when she returns, she sees you well and strong.

I acknowledge that the waiting game is arduous, but it will be worth it when she comes back and embraces you with open arms.

Take care and please continue to reach out,

BPDSurvivor

Hello @CAD1 how are you and your daughter going my friend xx

@BPDSurvivor, @Krishna , @Daisydreamer , @Former-Member , @cloudcore