Intense anxiety and panic about communication.

I have a serious problem. I have never experienced this intense response.

I have no patience when it comes to lack of communication. I can't breathe, my anxiety levels go up and I get into a panic.

I'm experiencing thus with my best friend who is also my ex. In the relationship I would be badly stonewalled. Often for many days bit knowing when it was going to end. Add living together in the mix and it was pretty much a lethal concoction.

I'm finding it hard to forgive her and in ways it still happens. I absolutely cannot cope at all and I completely shut down. The anger I feel inside if me is bordering imin rage.

Yesterday was the last straw. I told her to go home, it was pointless being around. I cannot stand being in the presence of deafening silence. Stonewalling us a form of abuse. I don't have any patience, understanding or compassion.

I have told her a million times. I wish I could have patience. I cannot wait though. It just keeps taking me back to horrible time when I was in a relationship with her. She actually is a good person and I feel bad that I cannot overlook thus one thing. I'm deeply angry with her.

Even more so because she knows how bad a state I am in and it's just reminding me of the past.

I feel I have no options left and I've just removed myself mostly.

So very angry that I can no longer feel sad.