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Fear of being home alone/being robbed/etc

Gemini26New Contributor19 Sept 2016, 2:16 am AEST

Fear of being home alone/being robbed/etc

As of the past few months I've developed a desperate need to not be alone at home even during the day... I've just moved house also so I thought it was just trying to adjust with the move but no... this is real and it's becoming really bad.
I've never had a problem with being home alone if anything I would yearn for it! Loved my own space.
But these days with the home invasions and murders DAILY i wonder how many others are in the same boat as me 😞
I've admitted this to a few people and all I cop is that In a nutshell I'm overreacting and being silly.
Making me feel like I'm going crazy, pressuring myself to try stop these terrifying thoughts.
I have also had a family members life taken and a real eye opener.
It can happen to anyone and I can't escape hearing about the daily stories or others experiences of late.
I haven't known whether this is serious enough to go see someone and am scared I'll get laughed at really.

Can anyone relate? Or have any tips or help that will benefit me?

This is so draining and it's driving me crazy. Want to live without the fear

8 replies

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In response to: Fear of being home alone/being robbed/etc

NewDawnSenior Contributor19 Sept 2016, 5:27 am AEST

Re: Fear of being home alone/being robbed/etc

Hi Gemini26

Firstly I would like to say welcome to the SANE forum. Day to day it sounds like your sitting with a huge amount of anxiety, and that you have felt that those you have shared this with haven't really understood. It sounds like being left with the thoughts in your head is a scary place to be, and sometimes when we focus on these thoughts the anxiety builds till it feels really overwhelming. You mentioned that you have thought about seeing someone about this but were apprehensive in case they don't take you seriously. I'm wondering who you had in mind? A counsellor or gp perhaps? . I do think it would be worth you checking in with someone, as it sounds like things are really tough at the moment.

When we are really anxious we often take shallow rapid breaths which can make us feel dizzy and unwell which can cause even greater distress. Ive included a link here on some breathing techniques that may help if this is what your experiencing.

I'm wondering if others on the forum have had similar experiences, and what has been helpful for them?

Go Well,

NewDawn

In response to: Fear of being home alone/being robbed/etc

IrisSenior Contributor19 Sept 2016, 6:10 am AEST

Re: Fear of being home alone/being robbed/etc

Hi Gemini26,

Firstly welcome to the Forum. It sounds like day to day you have been experiencing a huge amount of anxiety and that when you have shared this with others, have felt they haven’t really understood. You mentioned that you have thought about seeing someone but are apprehensive in case they don’t take you seriously. I’m wondering who you had in mind? A counsellor or your doctor perhaps, checking in with someone sounds like a good idea.

I can imagine that sitting with those kinds of thoughts and them going around and around in your head would be a really scary place to be in, and by focusing on them the anxiety can build to a point where it feels overwhelming. Here are a couple of links that have strategies that can help if your finding that things are getting to that point.

https://www.anxietybc.com/sites/default/files/CalmBreathing.pdf and

https://www.anxietybc.com/sites/default/files/MuscleRelaxation.pdf

Im wondering what other members on here have found helpful when they have had similar experiences?

Go Well,

NewDawn

In response to: Fear of being home alone/being robbed/etc

AloneSenior Contributor19 Sept 2016, 7:42 am AEST

Re: Fear of being home alone/being robbed/etc

Hi Gemini,

I used to stay up all night watching movies when I was home alone because I was so afraid of someone breaking in. We lived on acreage at the time so it was totally out of proportion with the real risk. One thing I have done is I've stopped watching the news, or focussing on bad stuff happening online. We are so surrounded by talk of home invasions and the world getting so violent & crime ridden that it can become overwhelming. Now if something major (like the Lindt seige) happens I watch a little so I know whats going on, but I dont sit and watch the news all day.

When I moved into my own house I had a security guy come out and take a look around the house. He put security doors and screens on for me, and when I asked about window locks he was honest enough to say its not necessary and that we can live with a seige mentality which doesnt do us any good.

Remember there are a lot of good people out there in the world. The news just focusses on the bad ones so we hear more about them than we do the good. That's why I turn off the news 🙂

I've also been teaching myself boxing and self defence. Its great exercise and wonderful for self esteem and confidence.

In response to: Fear of being home alone/being robbed/etc

Unknown userMember19 Sept 2016, 4:52 pm AEST

Re: Fear of being home alone/being robbed/etc

Hi @Gemini26

Thanks for posting. Can I ask where do you think these messages are coming from? Is it certain people in your world telling you that the world is an unsafe place? Or is it the media, like watching the news on TV? Or reading articles online? It sounds like you've had some

If it's the latter, we recently had a discussion about triggers in the media where several members - myself included - shared how unsettling the news can be. Fellow members @Former-Member @Binyini @1731LC @Neb @Appleblossom @Former-Member @utopia shared similar sentiments. I wonder if they can relate to feeling scared of being home alone? One website I like to read is The Good News Network - it's a good reminder that not all news stories are negative, that's just an unfortunate bias in our media.

I certainly don't think others would make fun of you or think your weird if you decided to speak up and reach out for help. Hopefully some fellow members can share some of their tips and strategies with you.

In response to: Fear of being home alone/being robbed/etc

utopiaSenior Contributor19 Sept 2016, 6:00 pm AEST

Re: Fear of being home alone/being robbed/etc

@Gemini26. Am so glad you wrote this post. Fear can be extremely debilitating. It doesn't matter if the subject of the fear is very likely to occur or unlikely to occur. The fear is the same. The anxiety is the same.
As mentioned by @Former-Member a few of us discussed the issue of reducing our exposure to news - as it just makes things worse. When I was in hospital earlier this year, I decided I would have time off from all news - via tv, the radio, newspapers and magazines, even electronic media. I told my friends that I needed time to heal and I couldn't do that with all the negative need on terrorists and murders etc. I had a month without news. Then slowly I have started to watch some news again.
My psychologist and psychiatrist both thought it was a great idea & healthy for me to have a break from anxiety causing news.
I wonder if you see a psychologist. This would be a great topic to bring up in a session.
When I first became a single parent, my anxiety and fears were quite high. Living alone and being responsible for a toddler with no Man about to protect uus. Scary at first. But then I got used to it. I also have dogs. one in Particular I trust to protect me. But it's not just that they can protect me - they keep me company - so I don't feel so alone. And they are by my side when I slip into my depression.
Do you have a pet? It may help in moments of anxiety to have something to cuddle - who loves you unconditionally.
I wish you all the best and hope that you will let us know what your therapist suggests.

In response to: Fear of being home alone/being robbed/etc

Unknown userMember19 Sept 2016, 8:29 pm AEST

Re: Fear of being home alone/being robbed/etc

Hi @Gemini26, I can relate to feeling really unsafe when I first move into a new place. Is that what started the feeling for you?

In response to: Fear of being home alone/being robbed/etc

KurraSenior Contributor19 Sept 2016, 8:50 pm AEST

Re: Fear of being home alone/being robbed/etc

I can relate to what you're saying @Gemini26.
I experienced extreme fear when I was homeless. I lived in my car to start with and then an intimate so called 2 man tent. 2 skinny people tent. I had no security but I also had no choice. Eventually I lost my fear for my own personal safety completely which was probably an incredibly dangerous eay to think. At the time I had no other option.

The main thing to remember is to take sensible precautions. Lock your doors. If you're in the back garden keep your front door locked etc. Above all keep your phone on you at all times. If you really do encounter a problem you can hit the emergency button and then if you can't speak other noises will alert the operator and your geographical position can be quickly established. 🎶

In response to: Re: Fear of being home alone/being robbed/etc

AppleblossomSenior Contributor19 Sept 2016, 9:04 pm AEST

Re: Fear of being home alone/being robbed/etc

Hi @Gemini26 There are a lot of great responses.

I feel fear a lot but also deal with it a lot and continue anyway.

The fact is that the news .. is full of negative events ... but we need to be at least somewhat aware ofr our wider world.

It seems as if our cities are becoming more violent ... I am not sure how true that is .. but I am at least being realistic .. about the chances .. in certain situations etc.

Ice is an ugly drug and its users can be extreme and violent ... it is sad and true.

I have lived alone a lot ... and if I become afraid .. I used the radio for company for many years ... hobbies and creative projects in the home help ...

I was warned recently on a station platform .. to be careful about the casual violence ... and then also warned .. that some people trick you to get you out of your car ... to start something ..

For me .. its important not to feed the fear ...but also not be too naive ... and put strategies in place.

Take care

Apple

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