ChrisSenior Contributor
Relapse
Well ive had four weeks in hospital having twelve rounds of ECT. I came home feeling better than i went in. But that has been short lived. I now appear to be in a mixed episode. Im very irritable, aggitated and at times feel very aggressive. I saw my psychiatrist on Monday, and Needless to say he is not happy, and now wants me back in hospital for more ECT. Only problem it is difficult to get a single room. I could have a two week wait. I was in a shared room for two and a half weeks, and i couldn't stand it any longer (social anxiety) i packed my bags and was ready to leave. Now because i said i will not go into a shared ward, it looks like a two week wait. He has adjusted my meds which is helping a bit. I said to him at the time, and i still feel this way. Its a good thing all my meds are at the chemist for webster packs, as i would take the lot the way i feel. I am so tired of the constant struggle. I keep ending up in a very dark place, no matter what i do, however much effort i put in. I cant do this anymore. I dont see an end in sight. Its just more of the same, and it seem like it is getting progressively worse. This is no way to live. It isnt living it is barely existing. I want some relief. Somehow.
