Question

A lived experience so not professional advice. No, do not badger him. I fear it will esculate depression with extra pressure on him when he can't cope where he's at. Is money more important than his life?

Hello @StarZee

It seems to me that the issue may be addressed by breaking down the components around the question.

I have personally retained treatment and support for clinical/major depression, for at least 20 years. I believe that the problem existed from my early teens.

My previous employment was in the public sector as an employment officer. Consequently, my observations are made both from a personal perspective, and from my employment experience with clients who included those suffering a range of psychological issues.

In what way are you supporting your son - not specific figures, but the areas of support. Accommodation, food, other necessities.

1. The capacity that you have to support your adult son

   The question here is what impost for you is incurred by helping your son, if he is living with you. Your income. The outgoings of the household. It is reasonable to ask for a contribution, since, if your son has claimed government (public) support (JobSeeker Payment, through Services Australia), it is possible that he can claim, at least a rental allowance on a shared basis. If he is renting independently, he is likely to be eligible for a full rental allowance if he lives on his own. (I'm not sure about the eligibility criteria for a child who has previously left home and has been independent, however, that should not be difficult to find out for your particular situation through Services Australia) I would think that any rental allowance should, since that is the reason for which it is paid, be offered to you. However, that is a personal issue, as are all these factors.

2. What may be considered a reasonable contribution, for his welfare and maintenance, by your son under less adverse circumstances.

   Here, the same issue arises as above. Is the son living in the same accommodation as you, or are you helping to support him in separate accommodation. What would your son's outgoings be under normal circumstances. Food, laundry, utilities (water, power and gas).

3. The level, cause and duration of this particular incidence of depression.

   The question about “fair to badger them to get a job knowing how depressed they are?” , I think, requires more information for an appropriate answer, but I hope that the following will help.

• What triggered the depression?

• How severe is the depression?

• Are there any other factors influencing the son's mental state? eg. Relationship issues, etc

  • It is likely that if the depression is sudden and simply a result of losing a job, it may be in your son's own interests to regain employment as quickly as possible. In this situation, your encouragement (as distinct from badgering – subtle difference) may enable your son to resume work more quickly, to regain lost self-esteem, feel independently responsible again, as well as the other financial and non-financial benefits of employment.

  • If there has been a previous incidence of, or continuing state of depression, which may also have been part of the reason for loss of job, I would think it appropriate to address that issue early in the process. Initial assessment by a GP would, I think be the first step with the set up of a Care Plan that may include referral to a psychologist. It may or may not be difficult to convince your son, in these circumstances, first that he would benefit from assistance and, secondly, to declare that need to you and/or anyone else.

  • Pressing your son, particularly if there are previous or continuing state(s) of depression, or possibly, a family history, the problem of depression may be exacerbated if pressure is put on him to find employment, before dealing with the depression.

If there are other questions, I or others, here on the forum, will be happy to assist.

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Best Wishes

@HenryX

P.S. 11.05 am Fri 27th Aug. Edited with a few words added for clarity and to qualify the experience from which my response is offered.

Hi and welcome, @StarZee .

As someone with depression which has often been severe in the past, I would think not to ask your son to try to get a job at this time. It could likely be too much for your son to cope with. Rather, could you look at maybe getting some professional suppport for your son which may include a support payment?

Hi @HenryX

I hope you dont mind me noting that your way of breaking down the question is an eye opener.. it makes so much sense when figuring out the question - should you badger the son to find work.. even though his depressed..

Hope your doing well xx

Hello @MIFANTCARER

Thank you very much for reading my response to the question and your comment and positive support. Rather than minding such a neat supporting statement, It does help a great deal when affirmation with a reason, such as yours, is given for a response.

Likewise, hope that everything is good for you, and you are well.

With Best Wishes

@HenryX