In a constant anxious state.

Hi @Duck15 Welcome to the Forums and thanks for sharing a bit about what you've been going through lately. I know many of our fellow members could relate to what you've said. Good to hear you have been taking those all important help-seeking steps. It can be a real struggle to get the ball rolling with setting up that support initially, but can be well worth it in the long run.

Managing study when you're struggling with your mental health can be a real challenge. Are you currently studying full time? One thing that can be helpful is to get a medical certificate from your doctor and ask your lecturers for some extensions on your assignments if you need to. The doctor doesn't need to disclose in their note that it's mental health related, just a generic medical issue like any other. If you are finding it all a bit much, another idea is to cut back to a part-time load next semester or take next semester off entirely to focus on your mental health. Sometimes it can be helpful to make some space in our busy schedules so we can focus on getting well.

Can I ask did something happen recently to trigger the anxiety and depression?

Hi @Former-Member, thanks for replying to my message.

I'm currently in my final year of my PhD, and prior to the onset of depression/anxiety I was burning the candle at both ends so to speak collecting the final phase of my data collection. The PhD journey itself has also been stressful, as I was bullied by my first supervisor, which set off a depressive/anxious episode at the end of last year/start of this year. It ended up being quite a traumatic experience, when I finally spoke up to my head of school and requested a new supervisor.

This is the second time in my life that I've experience ongoing anxiety, without being able to pin point what's actually wrong. I know that a lot of PhD students or graduate students in general experience depression and anxiety from the expectations placed upon us (and what we place upon ourselves). I've taken the past few weeks off, but also feel guilty because I'm getting behind schedule.

The anxiety feels never ending and invetiable each day, which turns into dread and feeling like something is wrong all of the time. It makes me want to retreat from everyone and everything, but at the same time that makes me feel worse, when I'm on my own. I feel like I'm at war with myself in my head 24/7. I think I'm also finding it hard to accept that I'm currently not well due to the stigma around mental health issues.