I have been awake for over 3 days

You sound like ny bf

@Princessmolly. Sounds like you are hitting rock bottom at the moment. When so far down it's hard to see yourself ever getting out of the depths of depression. But it will happen.
You say you want someone to lock you up! That's a strong statement. You are wanting to punish all of those around you & then punish yourself as well.
It sounds like you need help NOW. Can you ph your local mental health team or CAT. Why not go to hospital - where you will be taken care of - & where you will be able to get some rest. Let them look after you for a while.
Can you phone someone now?
I'm worried for you

The local hospital is the last place i would turn to. Id have to be activley trying to hurt myself in frint of their eyes before they would do anything. Instead i have gotten another referral for a mental health plan and an appointment with a new psychologist. This will be my 4th in 3 years. My new doctor is very nice we talked about my old psychs and what went wrong. She thinks i need to write down done specific achievable goals instead of going in and blurting out my entire history then hoping they can fix it. My husband is so sad today. I feel bad but i begged him to take today off because im not coping and he refused so here i am with my toddler and im so tired i randomly throw up for no reason out of the blue. Hoping tomorrow is better. I have to call in sick tomorrow i cant face work but im so anxious about it

@Princessmolly. It's great that you have a gp who not only listens, but understands. Why not book an appointment to see her today or tomorrow if possible. I often have my gp appointments between my psychogists appointments - so I have a supportive person to speak with. But please don't drive to the doctors - you will have too much alcohol in your body & will be over the limit.
Have you stopped drinking today? It just increases the level of depression you end up suffering.
So today, can you eat healthy and drink lots of water. Maybe tske a nap when your toddler has a nap.
Try not to beat yourself up. Today is a tough one, but tomorrow is a new day.
Look after yourself. Treat yourself kindly.

Hi Utopia i went to the Dr this morning. I booked an appointment online last night. Its a 20 min walk so didnt drive. I am lying in bed with my toddler now but im absoloutly wide awake. Dr prescribed me something for anxiety and to help me sleep over the next few days will try them tonight when husband gets home

Tried to send you a message. But it kept refusing to go through.
good on you for getting to your doctors. Next time you haven't slept - get hubby to take his child to work with him or arrange an alternative. He is the parent too. He needs to help when you can't cope.
I hope the meds work for you tonight and you get a good long sleep

Hi @Princessmolly - did you get some sleep last night.

Yes i did. I had a sleeping tablet and gave my toddler some nurofen for his teething. 7 hours solid.

@Princessmolly. That's good to get 7 hours. Especially with a teething baby.
Did the sleep help you feel a little more rested? Feeling like you are coping better?
I'm glad the sleeping tablets helped