LostAngelSenior Contributor
hello Friends I'm Back
hello forum friends Im back after a short break,hope your all doing well,Im doing allright just alot of overthinking and self doubt,things on my mind in regards to my personal life,maybe the romantic fling Ive been having with special someone has reached to the honeymoon phase being over as seems apparent at the momment,besides that there are few family members who seem to really care in general these days,but I just have to keep moving forward a few key things I still have to work on are communication skills,as well as comprhension,and knowing when to think and when to let myself feel rather than think,there are tighter boundaries in my life all round some family members have gone as far to block me and I have blocked some family as well,meanwhile using wrong coping methods to deal with talking to particular relatives,drinking alcohol,meanwhile understanding Aunt is still there which Im gratefull she is still there,as she has been checking in regulary to see how I am,as for last week well lets just say it wasnt the best of times,a sense of feeling lost in myself was the main feeling,currently though I am taking my meds after spending last week going on and off meds with and without drinking alcohol to cope with myself and relationships in general,but as for now in terms of family and special someone Im in a state of tighter boundaries and being unsure of whats next or if anything is next,Ive had a fun couple of months with special someone but yeah theres a place of needing boundaries even with him,and yet I know full well hes shown me how he feels,what he thinks and his effort from his side but Im also acutely aware that its upto me to show him from my side how I feel ect so thats where the stalemate lies for now,frankly Im not sure sometimes how he still has been around after some things hes had to handle regards to in particular my emotional,mental health state of late,he could be giving me some space to think or something like that,mind you weve had our first disagreement now and somehow we did still talk our way through things,but yeah I dont know whats next,Im just left thinking in my own space for now,but I do feel better than last week,and theres been a bit going on all round oh yes and being in Victoria its been lockdown again so yeah,just ordered some groceries online to be delivered and keep doing online shopping,treated myself to takeaway dinner last night,I might try to talk to aunt again or someone just to talk to someone,hope everyone else is going well,like Ive said lockdown has given me lots of thinking and reflecting time, but Im aware its about my actions going forward with those around me that matters I just hope Im brave enough to show people how I feel and not let my head get in the way of my heart tagging @bipolarbunny and @Former-Member and @BPDSurvivor 
