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we need help

Sunny94New Contributor10 July 2021, 1:37 pm AEST

we need help

Hi there,

i dont really know where to start or where to turn to...

My younger brother (24) has extreme anger issues- will hit himself, punch things, scream, also has had drug use, withdrawn from society (doesnt 'need' a job), is in to conspiracy theroies ect.

My parents and i are at our wit ends. He refuses to talk, he can be violent, unpredicatble and we are affraid of him.

Then of course, we can have good days where things are fine.

we are so worried but we don't know how to get help for him as he will not commincate with anyone. He recently became a father and things with the mother are very toxic- always fghting, accusing her of cheating. everyone is always left shaken and in tears.

Does anyone know what type of mental health issues he is experincing? BPD? or the next step to take. It has been this way for 4-5 years now...

any help,advice or support would be greatly appreciated.

2 replies

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In response to: we need help

CornySenior Contributor10 July 2021, 3:08 pm AEST

Re: we need help

@Sunny94

Does anyone know what type of mental health issues he is experincing? BPD?

Not even the most clinically experienced Psychiatrist who has worked for years in a variety of public and private settings would be able to accurately diagnose him until he gets clean. Drugs and alcohol change biology and mimic mental illness, until he detoxes he could be mis-diagnosed and placed on a merry-go-around of inaccurate diagnoses and treatments. Drugs and alcohol are widely available, lots of people try them, but not everyone becomes addicted, so he needs an Addiction Specialist that knows about the research behind this. Borderline Personality is an illness in and of itself you don't need to have experienced childhood maltreatment/neglect or trauma to develop it. But whatever its biological underpinnings it is more plastic than other Personality Disorders, treatment and remission is possible. It would be long and slow and requires dedication and commitment but your brother can't do it on his own, he needs professional help. Its incredibly stressful when someone refuses treatment and if he chooses drugs over his family, unfortunately its only him, that can make a change, but more importantly he has to want to. The problem is some people love drugs more than other life experiences and the people around them stop to trust, because they know the person wants addiction to be a part of their life until the end of life, thats why they are attracted to others who also have/had addiction. I was made an absolute fool of when I was a baby lez in my early 20s, had thousands of dollars stolen off me from a women I was involved with who I didn't know had a full blown drug addiction, very humiliating, I was so stupid and naive. Your brother is still young and this is the best time to take action and get treatment while his physical health and brain is more changeable to positive experiences. Once these things set in they can be hard to turn around the older a person gets. I hope he chooses another path in life, but that is up to him, he's not a kid anymore. Corny

In response to: Re: we need help

AnastasiaSenior Contributor10 July 2021, 3:50 pm AEST

Re: we need help

Hi @Sunny94

Welcome to the forums. I'm really sorry to hear of your brother and kudos to you for reaching out for support.

@Corny

great advice.

I am so sorry about what happened to you in your younger years. That would have been quite soul destroying to say the least.

@Sunny94

Bottom line is that your brother can only start the process of a diagnosis and help IF he wants to. You can point him in the right direction but he has to be wiling.

In the mean time arm yourself with supports so that you can cope. Here's a couple of links that might assist you in the mean time

Good luck @Sunny94 I hope he's willing to get help 🙏

https://www.health.nsw.gov.au/mentalhealth/Pages/family-mh-program.aspx

https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/emergency-help/helping-someone-else/

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