Career Chat // Maintaining confidence and self esteem while job hunting // Friday 9 Sep 12pm

Good afternoon! We've changed up the timing of our forum ... after a few contributors commented they miss the opportunity to participate due to the time frames of our forum ... we thought let's change it up and see how it goes ...

Today the forum will be open until 5pm and hopefully that means more people with an interest will be around to participate!

So to get started today's topic is Maintaining confidence and self esteem while job hunting'.

What's it like jobhunting? It's frustrating ... demotivating ... slow going ... maybe also patronising and demoralising! Depending on what your interviewers are like and how the interviews play out ...

One of the hardest things to do during our search for work, especially for those of us with MI, is to maintain a positive perception of ourselves in what may seem like a see of degradation!

Self esteem and self confidence are directly related to our perception of ourselves ... I like the meme that says :

Bur realisitcally how is this possible? Especially when it's been a while since you began looking for work?

How do you maintain your self confidence levels?

I know for me personally it always involves positive self talk and when I can't do it for myslef I get a buddy to do it for me!

Anyone care to share?

As I mentioned one of the most important things when looking for work is support.

My own (and maybe your) experiences have demonstrated that when you are unemployed you can really be helped or hindered by having or lacking a support network.

We assume it's important sure, but studies show it can be make the difference between actually remaining confident and positive and losing it all together.

So it's not just important to have a support network it's VITAL.

Interestingly it has also been shown that social support had a stronger influence on the self-perceptions of men than it did for women … any comments?

On this subject … there are also studies that have shown how the workplace is a major source of self-identity and self-esteem for men.

So maybe some unemployed men base their self-identities on relationships at home because they no longer have workplace interactions with peers and supervisors. So without that important role, men may look to their spouses or significant others to feed their ego and provide the encouragement to persevere during the difficult time of unemployment.

Whereas for women, one study (Waters and Moore (2002a)) reported that since women (often) have multiple roles in life (mother, best friend, active community member etc) that this may assist in maintaining their self-esteem.

So men, get a buddy a group or a forum to help you in these difficult times ... it's about creating a network. Doesn't have to be extensive either, just a few close people to remind you of your importance and worth ... even without work.

ON the flipside … if you have destructive social or spousal relationships this will have a negative impact and those who are looking for work should have alternative supports! Probably goes without saying ...

So it is clear that … whether it’s a spouse, friend, or social group- support is a fundamental factor if you want to remain confident and to maintain your self esteem.

Do you have enough support in your life?

A quick look across the net shows that high on the list of suggestions for what to do to maintain self confidence when you’re unemployed is … volunteering.

If you’re not sure whether volunteering is for you, here’s one man’s experience …

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgI-c2je-60

So just how beneficial is volunteering for your self esteem?

For a group of refugees in a very socially disadvantaged part of Victoria, it had the benefits of social inclusion, increased community networks, increased self-esteem and importantly – better job prospects.

If you are considering volunteering here are some important things to consider:

1. The main way in which volunteering works is by improving a person’s social needs rather than by necessarily offering an opportunity for employment (although this can happen!)
   
   'It has been shown that volunteering can successfully assist the long-term unemployed by equipping them will skills that facilitate workforce re-entry.' Government Task Force 2004
   
   
2. Remember that it works better for the volunteer and agency if you have an interest in the work concerned.
   
   Therefore, a good match between volunteer interests and organisational needs has to be made in order for it to be successful.
   
   
3. If you are volunteering the process of finding work will work best with other supports in place:
   
   
   • such as working with a JSA (job service agency) or DES (disability employment service),
     
     
   • other tailored programs such as wellness programs (offered through charities, so can be free)
     
     
   • and attend classes such as English or to upgrade your skills (check with DES and JSA for eligibility, sometimes this can be funded).

I feel isolated. The only support I have is my family and partner. I struggle with getting referees for the jobs I wish to apply for.

I lose confidence and exhaustion trying to write massive applications.

Hi @EM16 and thanks for stopping by ... you are not alone.

You really are not alone and I hope you know that.

The feelings you have of exhaustion are real and experiencing them is part of the process ...

That said - how fortunate to have a family and partner!

You are one step ahead of many others without support, just that alone tells me you're going to get through this process!

And it IS a process and a journey ... one step at a time.

ARe you with a DES or JSA to also help you?

Would you consider volunteering as a means of obtaining a few referees?

Thanks again for being a part of today's discussion!

@EM16 expressed isolation and the overwhelm involved in applying for work.

I think anyone can relate to that.

For many it is one of the most stressful times in their life and emotionally it can be difficult.

That’s why there are MUST DO things you need to put into place and keep in place to help when you're looking for work ...

1. Say positive things to yourself daily
   
   
2. Surround yourself with people who remind you that you are still worthy even without work
   
   
3. Do some volunteer work (it can be very beneficial both employment wise and network wise)
   
   
4. Schedule pleasurable activities daily
   
   
5. Don’t count down the days, hours, minutes – stay mindful – be in the here and now. What do you need to say to yourself right now to feel better? What can you do right now to feel good? Worry less and be present more.
   
   
6. Join a job club.

I want to highlight the importance of finding 6.Job-clubs for keeping your self esteem and self confidence (not to mention your motivation) going whilst you’re looking for work …

One study found that job club members benefited from group learning, increased accountability, networking opportunities, emotional support, helping other members, and enhanced understanding of the context of their experiences.

Job club members also enjoyed lower levels of frustration with the search process, used a wider range of outplacement firm services, and devoted more time on average to job search activities.

There are meetups for job clubs too … it’s worth getting in touch just to add to that all important support network.

http://www.meetup.com/en-AU/Melbourne-Job-Club/

Something to think about, have you ever joined a job-club? Any good?

Just thinking now ... a bit left field ... of things to keep your confidence levels up or to make you feel more confident (they're peripheral but equally important things):

• How about getting your friends together to do a clothes swap (not just for girls ... anyone really)
  
  That way you at least have fresh outfits to wear to (all those ) interviews.
  
  
• Perhaps also see a stylist (find a new one who will do it for free/practice!) to make sure you're dressing to your best advantage, you'll feel more confident without doubt
  
  
• See Fitted For Work, they are such an inspiring organisation (there's also a men's branch) - you receive outfits, support, and if you get the job another outfit for your first week

In terms of your MI, make sure you're using your toolkit for anxiety and depression ... including but not limited to:

• Mindfulness practice (stay in the now, when you feel blue/overwhelmed come back to now ... are you safe? are you ok? breathe in, relax and be in the moment don't worry about things that haven't happened yet)

I like these too ...

Job hunting can be a long drawn out process ... often it's the candidates who show themselves to be confident and have a positive attitude who are offered the jobs ..

But how do you keep your confidence level up and your attitude positive when you're deflated and exhausted from the sheer volume of resume/letter writing!?!?!

Help is at hand!!

Today we explored the many things you can do to keep those confidence levels up whilst on the job hunt.

Including

• creating supportive networks,
• job-clubs,
• find other helpful organisations,
• volunteer as a way to get referees/experience/networks/possible job opportunities/social networks,
• find a mentor/job coach
• professional stylists to keep you looking your best and
• finally a reminder that the most important things you already know ... toolbox stuff (relaxation, meditation, pleasurable activities etc)

I hope you were able to get something out of today's forum, please leave your comments and I'll check in again a bit later.

Thanks to @EM16 and @NikNik ... in the meantime I hope you have a relaxing weekend!