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I need advice, any advice

Cas19Casual Contributor24 June 2021, 1:18 pm AEST

I need advice, any advice

Hi everyone,

My mum has been diagnosed with delusions and a psychotic disorder. Are these different things? I can't get a straight answer from anyone but it seems to be more than delusions.

For over as long as I can remember she's had issues with neighbours. It began with her putting up anything and everything for privacy because she was sure they were looking in her house. In probably the last 16 years it escalated and now she's adamant that they're all making drugs and are out to get her. Literally every single house I've moved her to has been the same deal, even moving to different towns.

She currently in a community mental health facility on a treatment order. She said she liked it there but has since called me today saying that the person in the villa next to her is harassing her by having his friends over early in the morning and being inconsiderate.

I'm at my wits end and have no clue what to do. She's asked to stay with me but she's done that in the past and even thought my neighbours were making drugs. I've been her go to whenever there's been a problem ever since I was a kid and a just can't anymore, there's nothing left.

Does anyone have anyone have any advice? I'd appreciate any at all no matter how small it may seem. I know I need to take a step back for the sake of myself and my young family but the constant guilt I feel and like I'm etting my mum down is hard to get past.

Thank you for reading.

4 replies

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In response to: I need advice, any advice

GwynnSenior Contributor24 June 2021, 8:32 pm AEST

Re: I need advice, any advice

Hi @Cas19. It sounds like you need to refill your own cup before helping your mum. At the moment, your mum is in the best place to get some real care and support for her psychosis and delusions. (including her ongoing issues with neighbours). That said, it can be a hard environment to adjust to and she might benefit from talking to the facility's peer workers.

You might benefit from talking to your GP about getting a mental health care plan so you can get some support around your feelings and how to navigate the MH system with your mum.

Best wishes.

In response to: I need advice, any advice

KrishnaSenior Contributor24 June 2021, 10:05 pm AEST

Re: I need advice, any advice

Hi @Cas19 Firstly, as hard as it may seem, your mum is in the place where she needs to be at present. Sounds like your exhausted from years of trying to manage her illness and time has come for you to step back and look after yourself now and your young family. Your mum will be receiving the care and support she needs. Delusions are a symptom of psychosis and very difficult to convince the person otherwise as to them it is reality. Please for your sake, let go of any feelings of guilt as you've done your best to help and protect your mum and none of this is your fault. It hurts, I know, to have a loved one suffer through this but is so important for you to look after yourself. Your mum is being cared for now, so time to rest and practice self compassion xx

In response to: I need advice, any advice

Flurry0306Contributor03 July 2021, 5:51 am AEST

Re: I need advice, any advice

You are doing your best and all that you can do, it is so hard to juggle with young children involved. Take a big breathe whilst she is in a place where others can be responsible for a while. Can I ask how you got the treatment order in place please

In response to: I need advice, any advice

ShasanSenior Contributor11 Apr 2022, 9:50 pm AEST

Re: I need advice, any advice

I can relate to how you're feeling. It's very natural for you to feel like you need to do more to help her out and in some way guilty that you're going on with your life when she can't - It's human to experience this especially with a mother. I hold the younger you that witnessed her behaviour in love and compassion, it's not easy what you had to see and comprehend!! You're not alone.

Ultimately, it comes down to what you CAN do and what you're willing to do. We may wish to spend all our time with them caretaking but you can't do that or may not be willing to do that - understandably! You have a life to Live too.. As hard as it is, please acknowledge that it's not selfish. What would you advise your bestie if she was in your place - is usually a good prompt for me to self-soothe when the guilt comes up.

It's normal for ppl with hallucinations and delusions to have issues with neighbours, teachers, parents, partner or a group. All you can do in this situation is to inform her doctor that you heard this and you're wanting to check if the dosage needs to be corrected - Her doctor is the only person that's professionally equipped to manage with her symptoms. Not you dear, although for many years you took on that role and feel responsible for her.

Lots of love.

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