@NikNik
well part of my job is to be the go to person for all things MH. So I am working out an infrastructure for our organisation in regards to the proper supports for peer workers. These poor buggers are relying on my advice, sadly they cannot offer me any of there own.
Iam looking at something more general like a peer worker support ?supervision service, and have thrown a few lines in the water now just waiting for a bite.
I recently applied for a parttime job with a NGO MH support service just so I could get a face to face with them. Their peer staff turnover is really very high. And some of these folk were students of ,ime and they quit study and 4 were hospitalised. % staff in six months. Appalling. So I ripped them a new one. I pointed out the obvious...
If you r first qualification criteria is that the person must be a frootloop then why the hell are there no special arrangements for support in place?
He said,"mentally ill people are bloody hard"
I said "Yes, of course they are."
I mentioned the fact that his orgs on hold music was terribly jarring and artificial, and that in a distressed individual was forced to listen to that they would likely handup and not call back.
He agreed it was an issue but as the org was national the problem was too difficult to address from his point.
I mean reall? You cant address something as simple as onhold music and you expect to provide services for the MH sector and nurture your lived experience staff? fecken hopeless. I left him with a copy of a staff care model and the resources available for free in regards the on hold music.
Neither have been actioned. What a bunch of tossers.
I am still in weekly contact with my psychiatrist George. Last year we got a second opinion from a doc who is apparently a leader in the complex trauma field. She confirmed the diadnosis, and the severity of the trauma and the treatment resistance of the following complex illness. Added a few observations,
She believe3s I may be the angriest man she's ever assessed, which at first I found disconcerting as I do not often feel anger. But I after some thought I could see that perhaps she ahd a point and that I don't feel this emotion readily due to it's inherent danger. I find it a state I do not have much use for since it's too late for it to make any diffference. But , yes ,I'm pretty bloody angry.
With this last resort medication we seem to at least for now, how broken that disthymic cieling and the only real problem with that is I now am feeling emotions that I am not experienced with, and though my intellect can make sense and recognise these things I have no idea how do processs them.
I am going to ask George to start again with ACT in an effort to integrate these emotional states. In the past we made no ground, but that was because disthymia severely limits emotional range.
I miss my daughter terribly. She's 14 and I haven't seen or talked to her in 2 years. I recently sent her a snail mail letter and I have not recieved any nasty emails from her mother and in the letter I stated I would continue to write. Which I will. But it's devastating not being near her. Her mother cannot appreciate that and of course I've tried to keep the communication open but she refuses. She hates so strongly. I don't get it. She remarried almost straight away, they own a house, they travel , they have nice thing s, everything she ever wanted including functional intimacy. She should be happpy, but no, she hates and hates. Mind you she is a classic passive aggressive victim peronality disorder but I still don't get it.
As for me, I am still alone. I will remain so. I will not ever again put any woman through the exxperience of a relationship with me again. One must take responsibility for ones actions and behaviours no matter if they arte predicated by interna disorder. It is lonely though and as a partner is natural support it is harder to get through the tuff stuff alone. No family, no partner and no access to my baby girl. It is hard. Luckily my friends are loving and patient but do they take the place of family and such? No. They want me to look at them as family but the intrnsic limitations of friendship versu family means that is not possible.
I do apologise for the very long and self indulgent nonsense, but who else am I going to talk to?
Take care all
Thankyou for welcoming back. My input here will most likely be sporadic but I will try to get onlone a couple of times a month.
To those who offered advice, thankyou, If I am not already doing it, I will give it a go.
Have as good a week as you all deserve, which is a fabulous week.
Rick
