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Frustrated and BEWILDERED. [RANT].

Unknown userMember07 May 2021, 11:09 am AEST

Frustrated and BEWILDERED. [RANT].

EDIT: OK, so I talked about how my University changed their policy overnight, as a response to the situation in NSW, and that counselling appointments are online or over the phone only, but that's actually not true.

Face-to-face appointments are still running, but only on Tuesday and Thursday. On the other days, the staff work from home. So because the only appointments I really want are on a Wednesday, it has to be done online.

Although it is still a bit silly that they are restricted and it does take something away from the experience of counselling, that makes a lot more sense.

The second part of this post remains.

I am doing a two-person assignment at University, and I have kind of lost commmunication with my partner.

My partner e-mailed me, asking for my social media.

I was uncomfortable with that, but I gave him my WhatsApp, and he messaged me. I wrote him a message saying that I'll think about the assignment in the coming days. Then, though, I decided that I wanted to set a boundary.

I hate using social media for University, because it's a personal platform. I don't get notifications from my student e-mail, because I only check it when I'm working. Like really? You're e-mailing me. Why do you need my social media?

I e-mailed him letting him know that I am not comfortable using social media for work and that we can communicate in other ways. I asked him when he was going to be available to meet on Zoom, so we can go through it and record it.

He hasn't replied yet.

I was talking about it in class, though, and the reaction I got was really surprising. People looked at me like I was crazy.

My teacher said that WhatsApp was not social media. "Yeah, you use WhatsApp to talk to your family, but THEY can't talk to your family, so how is it a breach of privacy? It's just like giving someone your number."

Yeah, except most people have separate numbers for work too.

Someone from my class said "you're basically telling him that you would rather work on the assignment on your own." So, for some reason I offended him, even though there's a line of communication right there in front of him.

I know this is a general problem, privacy and boundaries are looked down upon. It's really frustrating.

Thanks so much for listening.

3 replies

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In response to: Frustrated and BEWILDERED. [RANT].

Zoe7Senior Contributor07 May 2021, 11:48 am AEST

Re: Frustrated and BEWILDERED. [RANT].

@Former-Member I totally agree with you - there needs to be boundaries between work and your private life and using social media (in any form) to communicate is crossing those boundaries. Email and Zoom is used for many work meetings and once you cross into those personal spaces with social media it is much harder to retain a work-life balance. Unfortunately we are in an era of having to have everything done Now and people wanting to have communication 24/7 and when it is convenient for them and not both in that conversation. Boundaries become not just blurred but non-existent in that scenario and that is not sustainable. Crossing into those private lines of communication also can cross the lines of confidentiality and safety for some and quite honestly - those that see that as okay need to re-assess their own use of communication channels, how they use them and acquire some boundaries for themselves.

In response to: Frustrated and BEWILDERED. [RANT].

wellwellwellnezSenior Contributor07 May 2021, 3:41 pm AEST

Re: Frustrated and BEWILDERED. [RANT].

Yeah, I'm with you both,@Zoe7 @Former-Member

FB can be pretty fluid and usefull in its own ways. But, email is really the professional standard of project communication.

In response to: Frustrated and BEWILDERED. [RANT].

Last-LamentSenior Contributor07 May 2021, 4:27 pm AEST

Re: Frustrated and BEWILDERED. [RANT].

@Former-Member I can empathise with you on this.

I have no mobile phone and do not use any social media besides the Sane platform - yes, it is a type of social media.

Thankfully, I am not in a situation anymore where the requirement for apps and such might be mandatory. I.simply. will. not. use. them. for the reasons you have stated, and for others re my own safety as it refers to my personal situation.

Email is perfectly satisfactory and when one needs to speak to the other body, there is a landline that can be called and surprisingly (I'm being sarcastic here) mobiles can both call landlines and be called by landlines (some people don't seem to understand that besides it being a cost thing).

I refuse to have Zoom on my pc and again, thankfully, my GP is happy to use phone calls for telehealth purposes.

There are many things I'd like to partake in, but they assume the possesssion of a mobile phone, multiple different apps, and such to be a part of, so I just don't go there.

Perhaps contacting you student support services and stating your case re this situation might provide some options to you. Maybe even shifting the need to participate in the 2 person assignment to something else, or communicating with the other party to let them know they need to respect your boundaries.

Because that's what it is - it's respecting that others have different wishes, needs, and allowing for those options to be used.

Best wishes with this.

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