LostAngelSenior Contributor
just some advice and self learning, regarding self healing Journey
just some advice,never let anyone make you feel less than,never let what other people say or do to cause you to feel like giving up,self love self growth and self heal,its your own journey,take a step back in order to take a step forward look back to realise where youvve come from,be assertive,ask for help but also just learn about yourself and things around you in a way that I times can feel lonely but at the same time it heals and strengthens you for the fight,the fight in your mind about thoughts and depression and anxiety,just keep trying,never give up,if one thing doesnt work out just try something else keep learning keep growing,you can only control your behaviour and so if others are behaving wrongly its up to them to choose to change their own behaviour,its just up to you to focus on healing your own problems,worries and behaviour,sometimes its smarter to just be an observer of those around you as you focus on sorting through your own emotions and mess,something Ive learned at the momment is clarity and always the need for patience,I can only fix me not those around me,I can have my own boundaries ,I can say no,I can say yes I can go it alone,I can ask for help I guess latelty Ive been trying to use alot of emotional discretion like keeping my personal life worries to myself and then from that work through things in my mind first problem solving first,and then asking others for imput or advice,sometimes we need emotional independance in order to get to the root of our deepest problems and sometimes we need to be alone in order to do that but anyway,strangely enough Ive asked fellow online daters for advice on personal issues regarding dating because it weirldy feels safer talking to someone who doesnt know,Ive learnt some things this week despite a number of things happening at once,one person told me to gaurd my heart above all and thats true when it comes to romance,but in terms of family this past week Ive also needed to gaurd my mind from things like old wounds,lots of learning about myself,my root issues and the realisation that I confusing sex and love in romantic relationships,been watching some self help videos on the subject of how past child abuse affects people with things like intamacy,vulnrability and sexually,Ive had the advice of wait for people to prove their love to you before allowing yourself to fall for them,and really just having advice from people both strangers and family who have kept me keep myself accountable in regards to my emotional state and thinking about well being,Ive also been watching the terminater movies and that quote in the first movie struck a cord with me that the battle for the future is in the present and thats true the mental battle for the future is fought here in the present,besides that Ive shared what Ive learnt with others after first working things out myself then gathering advice,I finally learned some lessons as a result of all that and I guess where the root issues came from,one thing Ive told myself is that I cant let what happend to me in the past,that is the reason from the past to then become my excuse for not experiencing things with people and moving forward also thinking about it now The guy whom I slept with ,I partiaclly was telling him off based on my past trauma from the abusse I experienced as a child and the confusin in my mind now between what I want wether it be sex,or love,the past abuse has probly confused my mind in this area of physically being with someone and also that feeling of not having control over a situation,it confused me emotionally,now Im not saying that the abuse was love it wasnt it was pain and hurt,but I may have assiated that sex or love is suposed to somehow hurt or be pain rather than thinking of it as a form of healing which love and sex can be and i think is a form of healing for me if its done and happens in the right way for me and my boundaries and needs,no wonder I have had the same recurring issues and my brain sometimes feels very messed up
