Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Take TWO, Scene ONE. (Starting over).

Unknown userMember26 Apr 2021, 12:25 pm AEST

Take TWO, Scene ONE. (Starting over).

I have been having a hard time, but I feel like I am just around the corner from a turning point.

People have described seeing your ex move on to someone new as having to go through the break-up a second time. So lately I have taken on the perspective that maybe I should start again. Maybe I can do it properly this time.

Today is Day 811 since my heart broke.. but actually, it's Day 8 in my recovery. I am honestly ashamed to say that it has been so long, but it's interesting to see the small improvements I have made since last week, and all the practical steps I have taken these past couple of weeks to get better.

One of the really helpful things I am missing is a friend. I get the image of going to your friend's house, losing your [...] in their arms and getting their support and guidance, and then having tea and watching a movie together. Unfortunately, that's impossible for me right now. If only you can put out an ad saying that you need a shoulder to cry on 😅. I can't think of any real solution to that, and that is really [...] depressing. I don't know how many other people on the face of the planet have no support, outside of the Internet.

I guess you can always make friends. The thing is, they are not going to know me now, they are going to know who I am in two or three months time. It takes time to develop connections, but I need them now.

I guess that's just an unfortunate truth that you have to absorb.

So I guess this is just a life update. Still pretty tender, but hopeful.

3 replies

1 - 3 of 3

In response to: Take TWO, Scene ONE. (Starting over).

AppleblossomSenior Contributor26 Apr 2021, 12:42 pm AEST

Re: Take TWO, Scene ONE. (Starting over).

Hearing you about the reality and difficulties making connections. @Former-Member

Dont be too harrd on yourself about moving on. The other side of that is people who get remarried too quickly after a spouse's death. Begs the question of whether there was much love. It takes as long as it takes ... with matters of the heart.

In response to: Take TWO, Scene ONE. (Starting over).

frogSenior Contributor27 Apr 2021, 7:21 am AEST

Re: Take TWO, Scene ONE. (Starting over).

Just wanted to let you know I read your post @Former-Member and it does sound like you have shifted in your perspective and are already turning the corner. As @Appleblossom it takes as long as it takes. I took many years to move on from the collapse of my marriage. It isn't linear; it can be two steps forward, one step back or even the other way round. Stay with it xx

In response to: Take TWO, Scene ONE. (Starting over).

MIFANTCARERSenior Contributor27 Apr 2021, 3:10 pm AEST

Re: Take TWO, Scene ONE. (Starting over).

Hi @Former-Member

It appears that you are in a good place right now. I am so happy for you.

When I saw my ex-partner I was 3 months pregnant and he was with another woman. We were not officially broken up but yes I saw him and it broke me to pieces. He confirmed that he was not interested with our child and I had to raise the miracle child by myself (we couldn't fall pregnant).

I had to go through a really tough pregnancy all by myself as family was not in the same state. I'm still struggling with the heart break but seeing your post has cheered me up.

I know what you mean about loosing that friend/partner. I miss having that too. But I have to move on and be there for my new other half my child. Let me know how you are going in finding new friends and allowing trust to others. I'm interested about that journey.

Best wishes and lots of love

1 - 3 of 3