Not all who wander are lost?

Ten years of hard yakka has to take a toll. You will have gained heaps of skills and knowledge that you can put to use all your life. Dont regret your work your drive and stamina. Its great. I left school at 16 too ... its tough. It is also great thaat you had the experience of a positive and inspiring person ... cherish his memory for all the good it gave you ... its good you let go of the family takeover of that business ,,, it was outside of your control.

But you do need to look after your self enough to get the balances right ... thinking of the old trades hall 888 idea .... 8 hours work 8 hours sleep 8 hours play,eat, clean etc ... Are the hours better where you are.

I knew a few people who would go walkabout ... I still do too at times ... sometimes wandering around we find ourselves.

Take care

Hi @flatshift I understand how you feel. I worked hard my mum wasn't happy about my job so she got me a job working for her sister and brother in law and that was when the memories came flooding back of what he had done to me as a child. I ditched life went to Sydney really effed up in a major way drugs etc to get rid of the pain and the memories that were flooding me.

It seemed all to easy to run away and let my life spiral out of control to the point where I knew if I didn't change things soon I would be dead in a gutter somewhere.

Obviously I still had some fighting spirit left I picked myself up brushed myself off headed home took all the abuse for being so reckless and not caring about my parents and how much I hurt them and decided to make something of myself.

Yeah I got stuck in some dead end thankless jobs but I kept working and gaining more and more skills and now I am so proud of what I have acheived.

I recently completed my Diploma in Human Resources Management in 5 months instead of 1 year, I struggle with self doubt and feeling hopeless and useless but then I think I can't be too useless if I can achieve all of this.

I guess what I am trying to say is don't give up on yourself because you are worth it even when you think you aren't, you matter.

hi @utopia, so i can see a psychologist under medicare? that i did not know! is it bulk billed or how does that work?

i think it is something i need to do. As i said i dont talk about feelings etc at all, so. i'll have to try and get some time so i can get a start.

im glad to hear you are almost back to your old self, it must be like picking up from where you left off 🙂

hi @Appleblossom.

ten years has certainly taken its toll, as well as other things. yeah leaving at 16 is tough, step out into "the real world" and it really frightens you. Did you go right into work after leaving? i know i was shit scared, but it seemed right.

i try and hold onto the memory, it gets hard at times. i still get calls from old clients complaing about how no one there helps, there all useless, can you help me etc. i feel sometimes his memory is "tarnished". i try not to let it get to me, but it does. i still feel i failed him, he worked for 35 years to build his business unforntualey it was work that killed him. his health had gone down hill and he was told by drs to take it easy, but no.

My hours at my current place are bad. im up at 6ish, hour and half drive to work, work till 6.30 hour and half drive home. when i get home, ill take the dog for a good walk, make sure hes got plenty of exercise, etc. make sure the mrs closthes are washed for the next day (she is a chef so i leave when shes asleep, n she gets home at 12ish)

sometimes wandering is solice..

@utopia thats awesome, thankyou very much!

yeah money is tight, struggling to get ontop of it.

i hope so! because i cant keep going on like this.