How do you get rid of that "what the [...] have I done" feeling after reaching out?

I talked to my manager about the emotional effect of work. I asked her to move me to a different section tonight, because hearing my ex's voice during the night is maddening. Also simply because it's a breach of her privacy.

She was really nice about it, I think especially because she knows what happened from when she worked here two years ago.

I told her that it's only for a limited time, because I'm thinking of leaving work soon.

However, today I am kind of nervous about going there.

• My manager's probably going to check in with me and see how I'm doing, and that's a bit embarrassing.
• What if she can't move me for strategy reasons, and I said all of that stuff for nothing?
• What if someone heard us talking and is going to tell my ex?
• What if it still hurts?

I am sure this is just Depression Speak. I am fluent in Depression Speak. I'm sure it's not unique, though, like why does reaching out make you feel anxious/ashamed?

I know it's not recommended to tell people that you're looking for a new job, and I told like three people last night... eek. "What the [...] have I done?"

P.S. She's only in charge for one more day, and our usual manager comes back next week. She is AWFUL, and I don't trust her with that information.

How do I explain it to her without going into detail? That's mainly a question for my counselor anyway, but yeah.

[...] TYPOS 😅. Instead of "mainly", I wrote "manly". Devastating 💙💛.