I have no one left

Hi @Maddy1,
I am sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time at the moment and I think that you acknowledging that you feel like you may relapse and reaching out is really courageous and shows strength.
I wonder, do you have any other support people besides this new friend? Perhaps your G.P., soneone else that you may have called when you felt like this before?
I understand that you have tried counselling and at that time you did not find it helpful, and that's o.k. because you know what, it can be really hard finding the right person that we can trust and feel comfortable with. Sometimes it may just mean that that person just wasn't a good fit but someone may be. So I would encourage you to reach out again like you have done here.
You know that both Beyondblue ph 1300 22 368 186, and Headspace ph 1800 650 890, offer counselling over the phone and I think that they even do text counselling from your phone or computer if that would feel safer for you.
I know it hurts when friendships don't go the way we would like, but they provide us with opportunities to reflect on what things we did well in that relationship and things that we may do differently in future relationships.
Doing things that interest us, clubs, sports, volunteer activities, community groups are great ways to connect with lots of people that share similar interests to ourselves. Perhaps you are already connected to various activities and groups and there may be opportunities to get to know some of those people better, or if you are studying through your course, or through your work if you are working.
Your local council have links to all the different groups and activities available to you locally. Perhaps when you are ready, you could explore these options to increase your friendship group.
In the meantime, think about reaching out and texting or chatting with someone at Beyondblue or Headspace or call your G.P. and have a chat with them about how you are feeling at the moment.
Hang in there.

Hi @Maddy1

I'm so glad you reached out here. It's horrible feeling so isolated. I'm sorry your friend has let you down.

From what I have read, talking with others who have 'been there' or are going through the same thing has been really beneficial for you. Hopefully you find that in this community too.

Additional to @STAY_CALM 's great suggestions, you might want to check out support groups - which I hope could serve as a space that you can connect with others in a similar situation - the way you connected with the friend you're referring to. I'm not sure what state you're in, but seeking out local community mental health organisations could be a good first step.

During business hours, the SANE Helpline is available (1800 18 7263) who can provide you with support and referrals (or you can use the Chat function at the top of the page if you don't want to use the phone).

It makes me quite annoyed at the system when I read that people have had bad experiences with counsellors / psychologists / psychiatrists - and that it's put people off seeking out the help and support they deserve. It can take a while to find the right connection with a professional, but from what I've read by other members here, it's so worth it. I wouldn't want to push you into it, but I hope in time you do find the right support for you.

In the meantime, this community is a great place to get ideas, advice and strategies - and also make some connections, I hope!

Take care,

Nik

Hugs....it sounds really difficult for you right now. You are here though and reaching out is a fantastic step 🙂 I know I felt better even just writing some of my story. 🙂

Hang in there Maddy. I too have suffered for yrs.
My marriage ended because of it. My wife tried everything for 23 yrs but i resisted now i lost her. Bpd ruined me! Not the good me. Im researching everything to be a better man. Try some positive affirmation disks. Louise Hays.