Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
Mountain-highCasual Contributor
My 21 yo son had cancer 3 years ago that progressed to depression then to drug problems and he moved out for a year. He has recently come home but while he seems better that 'black dog' still follows him and he seems stuck in a nothing rut. Not interested in working or taking care of himself. Nothing we say to encourage him works. He refuses counselling. Do we just wait because watching and doing nothing makes us feel helpless?
In response to: How to move forward
jazzSenior Contributor
Hi and welcome to the Sane forums. It sounds like this experience must be really tough for you. It is difficult to watch your loved one in so much pain. Are you receiving any support from any services? Has anyone else had any similar experience where loved ones are refusing to get help?
In response to: Re: How to move forward
Mountain-highCasual Contributor
The only support has been from my psychologist and I had joined a parent support group before he moved out but long story that didn't work out and I stopped going. I try to get him to talk to me about how he is feeling but he just can't and then goes out to avoid further discussions. i tried to get him a disability allowance which he was happy about until he found out you had to be seeing a doctor and receiving treatment so I then tried to get him a job search allowance but he just wasn't interested in finalising the paperwork. He doesn't ask for money he won't let us buy him clothes or shoes or give him money for a haircut etc I worry he is wasting his life and the longer he leaves getting help the harder it will be for him to ask
In response to: How to move forward
STAY_CALMContributor
In response to: Re: How to move forward
Mountain-highCasual Contributor
Thank you for the information you have provided. I have contacted Beyond Blue and they have given me some ideas of how to get through to my son about seeking help and also some local support.
i will let you know if it is successful.
thank you.
In response to: How to move forward
STAY_CALMContributor
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
You’ll soon be able to use one secure login to access all SANE services.
For added security, members are now required to log in with their email address and password - member names are no longer supported for logging in.
If you had a Forums account before 19 May 2026 and haven’t set up your new login yet, you'll be prompted to set up your new secure login when you sign-in.
Fields marked * are required
