@Eden1919, I know you're trying hard. What side effects have you noticed while being on the meds? How bad are they? Can you write them down so that you can tell your doctors about them, keeping in mind that the truth is a powerful weapon?
I know that my first meds made me feel lousy, even though they started healing my mind. It could be that you just need to give them more of a chance to work, even with the side effects, before asking to go to a different, less side-effecty medication. Nobody likes being on medication and dealing with the side effects, but it can be a powerful tool for good by helping our minds have the right chemistry to heal.
You've got to keep all your important stuff in mind when you're faced with the doctors - they're meant to lead you back to a life worth living, that includes all of your important stuff.
I believe that Satan wants to distract you from your higher purpose by ensnaring you deeper and deeper into spiritual warfare, cutting you off from the stuff that's important in your life. You've got to keep it together by acting as normal as possible, even when you're terrified. It could be that enduring the daily medication is something we have to do, the price we have to pay, in return for having lives worth living, with the important stuff for us to do and the important people and pets whom we love.
. I'm feeling concerned for you and what you're experiencing. Are you feeling safe at the moment?
