I need out

Hi @Stuck2 welcome to the Forums!! you will find it a safe, supportive place to share experiences and connect with others. Firstly I have moved your post to our Carers forum as you might find more relevant support and guidance here. Thankyou so much for sharing your story here today; Congratulations on the birth of your son! is this your first child? Parenthood is such an amazing journey; you're in for the ride of your life!!! it sounds like you're feeling very torn and conflicted in wanting to do what's best for your partner and also needing to look after yourself. It is really important to find the balance and acknowledge that it's ok to admit you are not coping; after all you are only human. Acknowledging you need help and support isn't a sign of weakness, it's actually a sign of immense strength!! Something that helps me in my work with people with a mental illness is to separate the person from the illness and to draw a distinction between the two.

I want to also stress it is really important for you to have some help as well. Think of yourself as a car..without fuel, TLC and regular servicing what happens to that car??? it will eventually develop all sorts of problems, mechanical issues and stop completely. it 's the same principle with humans, we can't run on empty!!!

Who else is in your life that you can talk to about your feelings? a trusted friend or family member? what do you do to manage personal stress?

Have you spoken to a GP or professional about the "dark times" you mentioned? you might find that of benefit or possibly calling a helpline such as lifeline. They may be able to tell you if there is support groups for new parents in your area.

Hello @Stuck2, you're in a very tough situation and it sounds like you've been trying to do the best thing for your partner and child. If your own mental health is starting to suffer, it sounds like it's time to re-consider the situation. That could mean a number of things - from looking after yourself more to relationship counselling to larger changes.

I'd like to second @Former-Member, in recommending you talk with someone. That's not a reflection of any concerns you have about your own health. It's more about how difficult this situation is and how much support you might need in making changes. Your GP can make a referral to a Psychologist. This gives you a chance to talk all this through with someone who isn't invested in any particular outcome. There's something very liberating about that.

Would that be possible @Stuck2?

Hi @Stuck2,

Just checking in. How are things?

I agree with @Former-Member and @Former-Member, it's important for youto look after yourself. But I also want to suggest that moving on may be just as important for your son, and even for your partner . Staying in an unhappy relationship can also mpact on your child, and partner. Of course, breaking up will create distress and grief in the short term, but in the long term, if you feel and that you are going to be happier person outside of that relationship, it'll mean that you can be the better you for your son, and even your (ex)partner - as the mother of your child - it may mean that you may be present as a father to your child.

What's important for you son, regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not, is that his parents have a harmonious relationship.

CherryBomb