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Single parents?

BowSenior Contributor23 Mar 2021, 7:37 pm AEDT

Single parents?

I'm sure this has been posted about before. How do folks manage all the complexities of their mental health and being a single parent? What kind of things do you do to make this run more smoothly.
I struggle a fair bit, tonight has been a challenge. My D breaks me a lot and I often wonder if she would be better off without me. Does my mi have some kind of impact on her? Will her seeing me struggle,, I do try and hide it from her, but some times it's just so hard... does it affect her? I spoke to her teacher today, she said that she is very anxious in class, around adults I particular. She is just starting to be more relaxed around her teacher, but as soon as any other adult comes in she shuts down again. It makes me sad. Is it my fault? Have I caused this?
how can I even think about doing this again??? 😩

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In response to: Single parents?

Unknown userMember23 Mar 2021, 9:40 pm AEDT

Re: Single parents?

Full disclosure, I am not a parent.

Someone I know, a trainee counselor, recently made a video on the idea of saying that you're not fit to be a parent, and that maybe parenting wasn't the right path for you.

She said that it helps to look at this issue from a child's perspective. You, Bow, are their mother. There's nothing that can take that away from you. You might be struggling, but if you think about it, there are people who never met their biological mother, and they still have a deep emotional connection to them. Regardless of whether or not you're struggling, you still make an impact on their lives, so please don't be so harsh on yourself.

That said, she also put out a bit of a cry-with-me video talking about how single parenting offered a lot of unique challenges, especially around Christmastime, so I am not going to pretend to think it's easy.

As far as solutions go, that really depends on the individual issue. Someone I know turns to her family for support. I hope that's an option for you, and if it is, then please take it. I also heard someone recommend settings boundaries with your kids, so they know they need to make it easier on you. For example, you could set out an hour of the day or whatever, and they can choose how to spend it. It gives them quality time with you, but it hopefully puts both of you on the same page.

I'm really sorry to hear that you're having a hard time, but good luck x.

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