Thank you so much for replying and you're kind words.....it means a lot and really helped me today to just feel 'heard'.
It's great to hear you've identified 'being heard' as something YOU valued that is important to help your well-being.
It's hard for me to get away for anytime by myself because my husband is quite attached to me and not being with me raises his anxiety levels and he gets stressed and then if his mental state is not under control he will think I'm trying to get away from him and he just falls like a heap. I'm his crutch I guess and that too for me is exhausting some days - in a way it's like another child when I really need a partner.
Our children are aware that Daddy isn't 'normal' so to speak but they don't seem to be too affected, (most are quite young).... 4 of them have issues including autism and ADHD so taking medications and outbursts etc are just a normal part of our life. I guess it's becoming harder for the teens (15 and 13) as they are starting to figure their own way in the world and they are seeing a stark contrast to other peoples families.....my husband is unable to hold a job for a decent length of time, we go slower as a family and it's a matter of pacing ourselves instead of being typical society stereotypes. We also know how hard our life can be so I'm thankful to be able to give the kids 'time outs' with them staying at their grandparents once a week....really helps give them breathing space.
There are two great booklets from COPMI you can order, which are family friendly and help parents to have safe & open conversations with their young children about mental illness.
Not sure what state you're in but AMAZE the ASD orgnaisation means you can access 6 free phone counselling sessions through them.
Respite and Time outs with grandparents is great! Are your parents people you can talk to for support too?
Sometimes our future seems so dark but then there will be a good day or a good enough day and I pull up my socks and carry on. I've been researching support groups in my area....I don't actually have a life outside of the home, no friends and certainly noone who knows much more than the fake smile I plaster on my face alongside the lipstick. I think I'm too scared to let anyone in anymore as it just isn't accepted.
I've found mindfulness helps me deal with the stressful and touch days of concern being a carer/
Re: Support
If you're in Victoria, try MIND. They do outreach carers support (so will come to your house/community instead of you travelling to a clinic etc.).
In the past, they have helped out with carer respite by taking out the loved one to have a coffee, visit the shops, so you can have some you/alone time for yourself to have a break.
Also, the anxiety recovery centre Victoria has free peer support groups where carers and consumers living with anxiety can meet and share as much or as little as they want, even just observe! you can go for you if you need to (and maybe that'll make your hubby want to attend to), as long as you want to exercise your power to say "I need help, this isn't working for me, its not sustainable and I feel stressed, like anyone else would in my situation." They have a helpline 1800 ANXIETY (Victoria and other states) that is staffed by trained volunteers who provide education, information, support and referral for people living with anxiety disorders or caring for adults, children, parents, partners etc with Anxiety Disorders.
WIRE (Women's Information Referral Exchange) are also pretty good too. For me, sometimes it just helps to chat it out so I can hold less stuff inside that weighs me down. It's nice to have a sounding board to feel values heard, respected, and see things in a different perspective with a fresh set of eyes.
