professionals advise against having counselling...

Hi guys. That's a shocker! My observation is that doctors, in particular, sometimes seem to be of the impression that psychologists and counsellors, not being medical school graduates, are inferior. Unfortunately, psychiatrists and GPs have usually spent the vast majority of their time training and practising dealing with bodies, brains and chemicals, not patients' thoughts, emotions, values, experiences and behaviour in the real world. Over the years, I've seen a handful of different psychiatrists. Two had zero interpersonal skills (eg not using your name, not looking at you etc), and one damaged me further by firmly insisting I tell details of trauma that I wasn't ready to. One of those wrote a note when I answered that yes, I had sometimes had suicidal ideation, then finished the session without covering that any further. None of those did any counselling or suggested I should seek it.

The one I see now is excellent interpersonally and spends time talking to me, at least. However, it's more of a debrief than anything else and there are no real explorations or exercises offered as strategies to get better. I once asked if she agreed it would be useful for me to see a psychologist and she said it was more important to get the meds right. That was 8 months ago and she's identified that my history of untreated trauma goes back over 20 years. *sigh*

It really depends, did she ask for counselling or is it your friend who thinks she should have it?

If she asked the doctor for help and was refused, then yes that's wrong.

However, as someone who has been dealing with chronic anxiety for over 20 years I can honestly say that counselling me for anxiety now would be like slapping me in the face and saying "you havent tried hard enough to get better". If this lady has been on medication for 20 years its pretty safe to say that (like me) she has probably already had counselling, and has tried several different things to see what works for her. CBT has been around for 20 years, its not a new fangled thing. Not everyone gets "better" and counselling isnt always the answer.

I've lost count of the number of times well meaning, kind hearted people have tried to push me into some sort of treatment just to make themselves feel better. They mean well but the amount of damage they do is enormous.

As for her being expressionless and slow in speaking, you lose your social skills if you arent using them all the time. Its a progression of the illness. Or it could be that she was having an anxiety attack at the time.

Thanks everyone for replying. It's good to read different opinions.

Yes, I was shocked too, that a psychatrist would advocate that someone doesn't get counselling. I was less shocked about the case of the G.P, as I feel many of them know less about MI than they should anyway.

@pip, I might have written my post in a confusing manner! It was the aunt's psychiatrist who has advised the aunt not to have counselling. My friend was the one who was telling me all about it. The psychiatrist never spoke to my friend.... my friend was reporting all this to me as a matter of interest.

The aunt has always seen the same psychiatist, as far as I know. She, herself, trusts this psychiatrist and believes him when he tells her that she does not need counselling. She (the aunt) does not want counselling and believes her illness is purely genetic.

My friend reported all this to me in a matter-of-fact way. My friend believes all is well and good in this line of treatment, too! She did not express any doubts to me about her aunt's treatment.

I just said "Well, ok, that's different." I did not want to give my honest opinion and rock the boat! In my novice, uneducated opinion, the aunt is way over-medicated and looks terrible.

Hi @Flower88,

I agree with you that treatment for MI is all about trial and error. What works for one may not work for another.

I am like you- I found talking to a professional about my emotions to be a huge relief and very rewarding. I believe I learnt a lot about myself through counselling. I began to question ways of thinking that had become habitual. I doubt I would have been able to do this kind of self-discovery all by myself.

I took a heap of meds when I was severely depressed and I believe they helped to get me through a very dark time. But if I hadn't gone through counselling, I think I would have ended up depressed again, as soon as I stopped taking the meds.

Hi @Former-Member,

thanks for your thoughtful reply. I am just wondering, (and I am no expert... I am just a fellow patient) could you take yourself off to see a psychologist without your psychiatrist specificlly recommending it? Could you get a referral from your G.P?

It's not like your psychiatrist absolutely advised against it. She only said the meds were more important.

I think it's really important for us to take charge of our own recoveries and make some decisions by ourselves. If it doesn't work out and you don't benefit form the psychologist, then you can always stop going!

When I was very sick with depression... it was so hard.... I had no support and no-one to advocate for me. I took all the medication that my psychiatrist prescribed.... I did not know what else to do. It's not like I thought that I was forced to take it and that I had no other choice. I knew I could have just thrown the scripts in the bin, if I really wanted too. It was definitely my choice to give it a try. I asked all about side effects of the meds and I also asked the psychiatrist "Are you sure that taking pills can really make you feel happy?" She seemed convinced that they would work.... of course she qualified this certainty with " The right medication in the right combination and dose will work".

She did not advise me not to see a counsellor. She didn't really say anything about it. I felt it was up to me what I wanted to do. She did, herself give me some kind of basic 'counselling' which I felt was more like trying accurately gauge what was wrong with me, more than anything else!

Hi @utopia,

thanks for writing. I agree with you. If it were my aunt, I would suggest just what you have suggested - a review by a different psychiatrist and medication review and possibly a change of meds? I would also spend a lot of time with her (the aunt) to observe exactly what is going on. Some people don't really tell you much and so you have to observe them yourself. This is what I have found, anyway, looking after my Dad, who is sick. He does not have a MI - he is physically sick, but I think the principles of care are basically the same.

I'm glad that you have not had any panic attacks, thanks to therapy. Personally, I am a great believer in counselling and I felt that it helped me more in the long term than medication did. Still, I am not sorry I took the meds, but I am glad to have gotten off them now.

I'm also so glad to hear that your Dad is improving! Wonderful news. Yes, it is a bit distressing when we see someone heavily medicated, isn't it? You know instinctively that something is not quite right.

My friend's aunt has plenty of people who could advocate for her - like her devoted husband, but I doubt they will do anything because they trust her psychiatrist 100%.

Hi @Alone, thanks for sharing your experiences with us.

I'm not sure exactly about whether or not my friend's aunt asked to have counselling. I only know that she was advised against it.

I do agree with you that not everyone gets better... some MI's are severe and will not just go away. There are no miracle cures out there.

While I am a strong supporter of counselling as therapy, it does not work for everyone. It's only worth a try... just like different meds are worth a try and meditation and exercise are worth a try.

It's interesting, but I've done some reading on anxiety (as I suffer from it too) and there are studies that suggest that counselling does not actually improve anxiety in itself. I will have to do more reading... but it's kind of like talking about anxiety can actually just make some people more anxious! I have read a few reports that touch on this idea.

When I sought help through counselling, my main problems were depression and anger. My anxiety did not become obvious to me until much later. Once I was aware of it, I realised I had always had the anxiety, since childhood.

While my depression is now gone and I feel generally good and well in touch with my emotions, some anxiety still lingers. On a bad day, it can get very uncomfortable. I don't know if talking about it will really help it to go away, exactly.... it's more like it helps me to understand it and accept it. So that even though it is there... I can understand what it is and it loses some of it's power, maybe?

I am very open to taking medication again if I need to. Initially (like, 10 years ago) I was very reluctant to take meds - even though I did not know what else to do.... so I took them. But fortunately, they did not effect me adversely other than some annoying physical side-effects.