need some advice not for me but the man Ive met hes going through a hard time emotionally

Actually, this is advice for you.

The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you're going to be OK to support him. You can't help someone in crisis if you're in crisis yourself, for example. You're worth putting first x.

As far as HOW to help him, that really depends on what he wants. Different people benefit from different types of help in different ways. Ask him how you can best help him. It could include:

• Understanding that he might need time away from the dating site you're using.
• Pointing him to certain professional services if you know any.
• Discussing the issue with him, with your input.
• Allowing him the space to basically talk to himself and work out the solution in his own mind. That sounds like a joke, but seriously, that's common. Some people just need the audience.

It is a testament to you that you're willing to help him... I can't stress enough, though, if you feel like you can't or if it's hurting you, then put yourself first.

All the best, to both of you 😊.

---

@LostAngel wrote:

hi everyone this post isnt for or about me its about the man I like so much and care about,is there any advice for what to do when your possible future boyfriend is going through a hard time emotionally ? his going through something in his personal life while trying to also date me,I relate to him so much but feel Im not doing enough to help him through this time,is it best to give him space,keep him company,let him talk? weve already talked twice about the issue hes dealing with the first time I listened as he explained how he was feeling,the second time he was using alcohol to deal with the issue and seemed less willing to talk to me about it maybe out of trying to protect me from hurt in some way? I can tell hes hurting but dont know what to do say? its not an issue I can specify on here but yeah just any advice to how I can show him more support right now ?

---

@LostAngel Its great that you want to help him but you need to look after yourself too. You could ask him what he needs and he may not know. Perhaps talk to him about how he is coping and I don't think its a good way to deal with your emotional issues or problems with alcohol. He might find betters ways to manage his feelings- asking for help, exercise, massage and self care. The second time he talked to you he might have thought he overshared the first time. Its hard to give advice with little information and I respect your choice not to share too. Just be careful not to smother him too much. But think about what would help you in that situation- I know what helps me. It might be helping him in practical ways too or listening or problem solving together or hobbies together. And gardening is meant to be very good for you emotionally- vegetable garden. Hope this helps a little. You're amazing !