I don't know what to do...

SO, remember when I said that it was two years since my break-up? It's more complicated than that.

On February 6, I found out something about her, and I knew it wasn't going to work out. That's when my heart actually broke. I kept that a secret, so we were still cool. On February 26, it boiled over and we stopped talking to each other. As you may notice, that's tomorrow.

We work together on both the morning AND the night of February 26. I am going to die. I hurt my knee, and it is still a bit sore, so I think I am going to be able to justify taking out sick leave for tonight. However, I can't do that for tomorrow night, because I am going to lose too much money at that point. I think I am going to have to stay back tomorrow and Sunday for that reason.

I have healed about 10% since it happened. I don't mean my knee 💔. My biggest concern is whether she's going to remember that it's been two years. In all likelihood, she doesn't care. However, what if she does still think about it, and she brings it up? I don't know if I can handle that, emotionally. Even if she doesn't remember, and it's just like any other day, it is going to hurt.

I am so scared...

Two years is a long time. I get all the cliches, "everyone lives at their own pace", "you just haven't found your people yet", "age is just a number", but let's not be silly...

Update: My manager called me today asking me to confirm whether or not I was going to come in after my injury, so I am going to try and get through tonight, and then ask for annual leave tomorrow. I just doubt my ability to handle it.