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More CBT work with psychologist

utopiaSenior Contributor25 Aug 2016, 5:55 pm AEST

More CBT work with psychologist

G'Day everyone. As some of you may know, my session with my psychologist last week went so well - the light bulb moments just kept coming. And I've been on cloud nine all week.
Today he reinforced last weeks breakthroughs & then restarted again on CBT focusing on the workplace. Well I definitely have a blockage when it comes to reentering the workforce. Fear of failure. Fear that I can't do or be as good as I used to be at Admin, because my memory is still bad. Expectations and predicting the future. These are 2 things I really need to let go of.
So, my homework, is to look at my list last week re: my values and see which are my strongest 5 core values. Then look at friends & other relationships (past & present) & see how many of my 5 core values they possess/ed. 4 out of 5 core values equals a successful match.
For the nextfortnight I just need to consolidate what I have learnt re: coping techniques & incorporate them with exercise & healthy eating & drinking. Keep doing the things I enjoy doing (maybe do a bit more of them), but really focus now on getting into a better healthy routine.
I can do that!
Oh one other thing he bought up. Judgement.
Fear of going back to work & not being able to do as good as I used to. I won't know if I don't try. And it will be the boss that decides - judges (I really hate that word) whether I can do the job. If I keep getting a pay check - then the boss has decided I'm working as expected.
So. Some heavy stuff to think about, but also excited about getting out and about a bit more & putting in place a routine around sleeping, housework & exercise.
Not as excited as last week. But still happy.
♥♥♥♥♥

11 replies

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In response to: More CBT work with psychologist

BlueBaySenior Contributor25 Aug 2016, 6:06 pm AEST

Re: More CBT work with psychologist

Hey @utopia

Sounds like you have done lots of work with your psych - fantastic.

I am so much like you - fear of getting things wrong, being judged and fear of not being able to cope with working. do you know what @utopia i have a feeling that you can do it; you can go back to the workforce and you will be okay.

I think you're right - doing things that you enjoy daily; it just gives you a sense of self satisfaction.

wishing you all the best for the next coming week. take care xxxooo

In response to: Re: More CBT work with psychologist

hope77Senior Contributor25 Aug 2016, 6:18 pm AEST

Re: More CBT work with psychologist

In the same boat @utopia and @BlueBay Wanting so much to earn money again, putting up barriers and believing them. Can't seem to get confident enough to even think about it. My husband doesn't want me to go to work either. but that little voice inside me says do it. with me, I think it will be some time away yet

In response to: More CBT work with psychologist

HellonWheelsSenior Contributor25 Aug 2016, 6:29 pm AEST

Re: More CBT work with psychologist

I totally think I can never work for an org again...

In response to: Re: More CBT work with psychologist

hope77Senior Contributor25 Aug 2016, 6:46 pm AEST

Re: More CBT work with psychologist

I know why I can't. Lack of trust in org. and people. discrimination, Jealousy the new style management is Why do you say you can't

In response to: More CBT work with psychologist

utopiaSenior Contributor25 Aug 2016, 6:56 pm AEST

Re: More CBT work with psychologist

@HellonWheels. I won't go back to a Health Network. Too many bosses that know nothing about the job. I will be looking for a small company with one boss.
@hope77. I've dropped a lot of my previous self negative talk & when another one starts - I look at it and see if it's within my control. If not I tell it to go away. But I am a bit stuck at the moment on the negative voice with regards to work. Probably because that's where my injury occurred. It must be hard when your partner doesn't want you to work & you do. But we do need to keep challenging these thoughts - whether we go to work this year, next year or never.
@Former-Member. Thank you. I think I can do it too. And do you know what? Your supervisor likes your work. Remember that.
I'm sending you good thoughts.

In response to: More CBT work with psychologist

Unknown userMember25 Aug 2016, 11:25 pm AEST

Re: More CBT work with psychologist

Sounds like a good visit with your psychologist again, @utopia. Thats really good that you have someone that you feel comfortable with. You'll know when you're ready to go back to work, just a step at a time, don't rush yourself. What are your hobbies, what do you enjoy doing?

I will have to read and reply tomorrow sometime. I really need to try and get to sleep. My appointment is at 10am tomorrow. I usually go back to bed after school drop off (lately). So it's going to be different, not being able to. If I didn't take this appointment I would have had to wait until next month. Usually I try and make appointments after lunch.

It was actually cooler today, quite cool tonight. I don't mind the cooler weather. Our summers are way too hot and humid.

All the best with your homework. Chat soon.

Night night.

In response to: More CBT work with psychologist

utopiaSenior Contributor26 Aug 2016, 1:47 am AEST

Re: More CBT work with psychologist

Thank you @Former-Member. Yes it was a good session but think it's going to take a few sessions to get a handle on CBT.
Hobbies? That's a hard question. I enjoy reading and have had time to do more of that since getting sick. I used to love gardening - especially fruit and vegies and I used to find weeding almost meditative. I was proud of my garden. You wouldn't know if you saw It now. But last week I weeded one of my cooch grass infested vegie beds & yesterday I did half of the other one. I'm determined to get a spring / summer crop in, as I used to enjoy watching the new growth, checking for pests and hand watering. So I hope I get the same joy again.
Some of my other old hobbies I can't do at the moment due to finances. But I'm thinking of joining a Thai Chi class (only $2 a session) but it's at 9am & like you I tend to sledp. But I do need to create a more 'normal' routine. So will enquire about starting next week. I did do yoga for a while, but found it broight out too many emotions.
You will have to let me know how you get on tomorrow.
And yes it's cold here. 1° overnight and had to turn heater off. Just got the latest bill. Ouch!.
Talk to you tomorrow

In response to: More CBT work with psychologist

Unknown userMember26 Aug 2016, 7:57 am AEST

Re: More CBT work with psychologist

Hehe! There it is. I just wrote on your other post that I couldn't find this one. 😂
I have to rush now. Chat later. @utopia 😊🌹🌸🌷🌻

In response to: Re: More CBT work with psychologist

Unknown userMember26 Aug 2016, 4:44 pm AEST

Re: More CBT work with psychologist

Wow! 1C, that is cold.

All the best with your vegie garden. It's a good time to start with it.

Yes, 9am Thai Chi classes sounds early. I hope that you will be able to get there, it will help. I'd be hopeless getting there at that time. I used to go to pilates/yoga classes, but they were in the afternoons. Now I just do it at home, not every day though.

I read the CBT book years ago and have been looking for it lately, but I don't know where it has disappeared to. One of the points I remember is, "what is the worst thing that can happen?", when I worry about something. If negative thoughts try to consume my mind, I often say "stop", to myself, just to stop the bad thoughts, then I try to think about something positive.

I'm feeling very "flat" this afternoon, after my psychologist appointment this morning. She is very nice and I feel comfortable with her. I was very keen to start with the EMDR, but she wanted to get to know me first. She gave me homework - to write a list of the 20 worst things that have happened to me and a list of the 10 best things that have happened to me. And goals, what I want to get out of the treatment sessions.

I have another appointment on Monday at 9am, early for me, hehe! But it was the only appointment available next week. The appointment only just became available, I think someone had just cancelled while I was there, so that was good.

Lovely sunny day here today. How has your day been? I'm just trying to remember, is your son 14?

I'm going to try and motivate myself to do some things, hang the washing etc., and hopefully go for a walk. I will have to force myself. I hate this "flat" feeling.

In response to: More CBT work with psychologist

utopiaSenior Contributor26 Aug 2016, 5:14 pm AEST

Re: More CBT work with psychologist

@Former-Member. Yes my boy is 14. Hard age.
I remember writing down a list of things that hurt me in the past and what makes me anxious. Then I had to choose the top 3. We then did EMDR on my top 2. I started with nbr 2 - my panic attacks - it was the easiest one.
Then we did the big one - the incident at work with the client.
It's frustrating, I understand, because you just want to get in there and do it and have it over with. I get that. But it is important that you both know exactly what you are working with & she needs to know how to make you calm - if emotions get to much. Sounds like she's a good one.
How lucky to get another appointment so quickly. That's great.
I'll be off line until late tonight - but will read your post then.
I'm out to see a comedy show tonight. Got free tickets.

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