huge mistake need emotional support

@LostAngel

Juts giving you a gentle hug if that is ok. You have realised it was a mistake and you are speaking in awareness of what you have done. In my opinion your are taking action to try correct what you have done. Go easy on yourself.

Im sorry I cannot be more supportive, I just got a lot going on too.

Powderfinger

@LostAngel

It can be challenging when people are just not available to talk. I had struggles with this for a long time. What I had to realise for myself is that phones are not glued to peopel's ears and hands are not always free to pick up phones. It didn't mean that no one cared, it just meant that sometimes people get busy. I am sure when someone is free they will call you back. In the meantime, that movie or sleep sounds good. Perhaps try find something to soothe yourself down a bit too.

it turns out one of family members is on holiday at the moment,they got back to me by message,another family member has issues with their phone at the momment ,its just all bad timing ,Ill see if I can go for a drive to see someone else tomorow.

cant sleep at the moment but good news is Ive found out a way to move forward and some areas of my life that have been a mess but Im now starting to work on,tired but cant sleep for now,thinking,sometimes things take willpower

its not my feelings and needs that are wrong,what Im needing ,feeling,its more a case of how Im expressing my needs and feelings to others how I go about fullfilling my needs or feeling understood,I need to say how Im feeling and what I need despite the fear of my needs and feelings not being accepted by family cause maybe they would understand if I just tried a more positive way of communicating to them without me lashing out or shutting down physically instead use my words in a kind way to say hey Im feeling this way because and Im needing your support because ,instead of either beating myself up emotionally or pushing them away emotionally,maybe then Id have a of breakthrogh of feeling more like I bellong and at homely feeling that I need from family and then I wont keep going in circles trying to get all my needs or emotional needs met somewhere else and in ways that are bad for me

Hi @LostAngel

I think the way we communicate with people has a huge effect on the responses we receive from them. It seems almost like emotional mechanics between humans. I believe that even the most balanced people will react negatively to negative emotions coming at them, even if only on the inside. This is the case even with the ones we most love and who also love us the most.

I have hurt people I've loved enormously when expressing my feelings, frustrations and sufferings in ways that directed anger at them. Looking back I see now that I was actually abusing them verbally and emotionally. Ironic, given that I felt myself fully the victim of my circumstances. When in pain and feeling very weak in ourselves, we sometimes forget how much power we have in relation to loved ones, how much we can hurt them.

Directing my anger and frustration at people I loved has also only brought me more suffering than I already had, the opposite of what I wanted and needed, just as hurting them was the last thing I intended to do.

With the help of my medical support professionals I have mostly overcome this over time, though I still feel angry easily and must take my medications or it can again become a problem for me and those around me, though fortunately not usually anywhere near as badly as it was.

All this is my experience and I do not know the specifics of your situation. I guess I just agree with you that being kind and loving to others tends to bring the same back to us. So anything you can do to express yourself to family in calmer ways is likely to help you too in the long run.