I need to write about what Im now understanding

I need to write ,I think Ive figured out why some of my behaviour is out of wack /feelings out of wack,Ive realised what I need ,what I need from family I need to feel a sense of bellonging again ,I need to feel a sense of coming home and being at home when Im with my family,I need to also feel a sense that family has me under there protective wings,so that I then dont feel the need to do anything stupid in order to feel heard and seen,Ive lost my sense of feeling at home with family in recent times,Ive lost the sense of bellonging,Ive lost the sense that someones there to protect and be there and take me under there loving wings for guidence,hope that makes sense thanks listening it just struck me cause I started to think about some movie quotes from the fast and the furious movies for some reason and then realised what feels like is missing at the momment,now Im thinking of reaching out to someone who feels like and older brother figure to me and I need that older brother figure for meto know that theyve got my back so I dont fall into choosing the wrong things to feel a sense of being home and a sense of bellonging and to remind me that I do still have a sense of bellonging in my family,I need reassurance like an older brother would give to a younger sister,but its also up to me to ask my family what I need and not just assume they can read my mind or assumeing thayll just know and understand,I need to ask for there support